The first time I listened to “Liebst du um Schönheit” by Clara Schumann, apart from noticing a few things, such as Barbara Bonney’s lovely intonation and a few particularly crisp consonants, I mostly zoned out until the end of the piece. I vaguely admired the gentle flow of the music, and was surprised by an extra chord when I thought the piece was finished. My thoughts on the rest? I really couldn’t have told you.
By the 5th listen, I was picking up on more interesting harmonic moments and changes of texture. I could follow lines, noticing where the voice drops out and the piano carries on the melody in a few places. By the 9th listen, it stopped being a piece of music and became almost a physical thing in which I was immersed. A few listens later I felt like I was hearing one long song that changed every time I heard it. My thoughts drifted away for a few repetitions. Then, 19th listen, I was suddenly paying attention to the structure of the phrases, the placement of words, the dynamics. I understand everything!! I thought.
After listening 20 times, I’m once again not sure I understand this music any better than when I started. I moved between paying close attention to specific things, letting it wash over me, and barely paying attention at all. Through phases of attention and inattention, I think I was intrigued and confused by the same things as when I started, but in a different way; the parts that interested me from the start still pull me, though perhaps they pull me deeper. I thought that this process would be similar to memorizing a piece, and that I would have a good grasp of its structure by the end. I often dance to the song “Come On Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners, and although I haven’t spent as much time with it, I think I know it better for having danced to it; I can anticipate every moment. I thought repeated listening (without dancing) would produce a similar kind of structural understanding, but not so! The Schumann piece still confuses me in some ways, but it is now a very familiar confusion.